If you are like most people, there is cialis online something you’d like to edit about yourself and you”d like to make a lasting change. Probably several things. Maybe you’d like to be more responsible with money, more patient with your kids, eat healthier or break an addictive habit. Most likely you’ve made several valiant efforts in the past to change this unwanted behavior but found yourself backsliding in a matter of months. If so, don’t beat yourself up. You were probably betting on willpower alone to get you where you wanted to go and shear willpower is notoriously unsustainable.
Think of your will as a person riding atop the giant elephant that is your unconscious or primitive mind.
The rider can tug hard on the reins and maybe he’ll get the ornery elephant to obey for awhile, but ultimately, the beast is in control. Research backs this metaphor up. Studies show that willpower functions somewhat like a muscle that can be strengthened but is also easily exhausted with excessive use. The key then is to get the elephant on board with the change.
Step 1: Visualize the Change
The elephant is primal and is driven by emotion so the first step is to get emotional about your goal. First off, why are you trying to make a change? Motivation is created when motives are clear. Tap into the pain you feel at the thought of remaining stuck in your current circumstances. Write down these thoughts and feelings in a journal. Pick a few key ideas that encompass your pain and highlight them so that you can refer back to them when you need a quick, emotional reminder of why you need to make this change.
Now for the fun part. When you are clear on your motives, begin to visualize what your life will be like after you’ve successfully met your goal. Dream Big! Really get your elephant excited about the possibilities. It will be this vision that will keep you on your path as you encounter obstacles. Write it all down in your journal so you can reference it whenever you need some encouragement. I like to keep a vision board where I pin pictures of my intentions so I’m reminded of them several times a day.
Step 2: Map Out a Change Plan
This is the step most people skip. Nothing freaks the elephant out more than massive changes all at once. The trick is to introduce changes slowly in the form of calculated baby steps. For example, if you’re trying to eat healthy, don’t decide you’re going to eat nothing but fruits and vegetables from here on out. Instead try a simple goal like adding fruit to your breakfast everyday. When you’ve gotten into Na kan du som er en high roller kose deg med Blackjack, og fa mer igjen for pengene!Er du en storspiller? Da er High Roller kanskje en av dine foretrukne spill? Dette spillet blir ofte ansett som selveste adrenalinspillet pa casinoet, og helt klart et av spillene hvor mennesker med store penger liker a gamble. the habit of this step, then you might add a green vegetable to your usual dinner. Next, you may be ready Il prelievo dei vostri fondi su Starcasino sara processato in massimo 48 ore. to cut fried foods Rational has arrived at an offer to get Atlantic City’s battling Atlantic Club Hotel, however the deal is determined by Rational being granted a Nj gaming license. back to just weekends. The point is to take it slow and be sure that each step in your plan is one your elephant can live with. If you find yourself white-knuckling it often, back up.
The more specific you can make each baby step the better. For example, instead of setting a vague goal like, “I’m going to watch less TV at night,” you might say, “I’m not going to watch TV on Tuesday and Thursday nights so I can work on that project I’ve been meaning to get to.” Another helpful device is to set a specific time or date for a step to be completed. Write these specifics down in your journal. Studies show that writing down goals makes it much more likely that you will actually achieve them. It’s like creating a formal contract with yourself.
Step 3: Watch Out for Obstacles
Look at your past attempts at change. What do you think went wrong? What got in your way? Chances are it was You. Or rather L’industrie de est connue pour etre la plus importante industrie electronique. your elephant. The unconscious mind chatters at us constantly and most of what it says isn’t nice. Be on the look out for self-defeating internal dialogue that can undermine the best laid plans. For more on negative self-talk, check out my July post, Do You Hear Voices?
Another common problem people encounter is all-or-nothing thinking. Change is incredibly hard and you will probably fall off the wagon more than once during the process. Forgive yourself and keep moving forward. The tendency is for people to throw in the towel at the first sign of failure. Don’t use a minor setback as an excuse to let the elephant run amuck. Revisit the Envision section of your journal and get the beast back in your corner.
Step 4: Find support
You’ll have a much better shot at achieving change if you have some support and accountability. While a professional such as a personal trainer, nutritionist, life coach or therapist is ideal, friends and family can be enlisted to help you maintain your momentum. I find that my children are some of the most diligent (and brutally honest) coaches when I’m trying to make a change. My vision board is prominently displayed so they know my goals and they are the first to call me out when I stray from the plan. By the way, they have vision boards too.
Contract with a friend who is also trying to make changes. Agree to check in with each other daily or bi-weekly to share your progress (or regress.)
Also, write everything down in your journal so you can start to see patterns in your behavior. What situations or circumstances cause you to stray or stick with the plan?
Step 5: Reward Yourself
Set up little incentives for yourself along the way. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. Elephants will work for peanuts. You might promise yourself a long bath with a good book if you can successfully resist yelling at your kids during the five-hour car ride to Grandma’s house. Or treat yourself to a professional pedicure if you run two miles a day for a week. The point is to celebrate your victories. Hopefully, armed with these tips, you’ll be celebrating often!