You know when I get nervous? The fifteen minutes after I say good night to my oldest son and close his door.
There’s a 25% chance that all will go smoothly and Graham will peacefully drift off into his much-needed slumber. But, the other 75% percent of the time? That’s when the game begins. The game where Graham comes up with a variety of excuses from commonplace to extraordinary for why he CANNOT GO TO SLEEP.
On any given night, these are the excuses I encounter:
1. I’m starving to death.
Yep, because you didn’t eat your dinner. Because you were soooo tired.
2. I can’t count to 100. (this usually comes after we tell him to count sheep to go to sleep.)
Then count to ten, ten times. (This usually results in a very puzzled look.)
3. I’m sooo firsty. (a.k.a. thirsty)
And when I give you that water, you’ll have to go potty or wet your sheets. That will help matters.
4. The crickets are being too loud.
I’ll turn the volume down.
5. There’s a bug buzzing in my ear.
Maybe the crickets will eat it.
6. I’m lonely.
Snuggle with that bug in your room.
7. I’m afraid of my [ceiling] fan.
I’ve never been attacked by a ceiling fan. Go back to bed.
8. I heard a weird noise.
Me, too. You. Talking. When you should be asleep.
9. You’re being too loud.
Because I’m yelling at you for not sleeping!
10. I can’t sleep because there’s a spot on my ceiling.
I‘m sure paint fumes will help you go to sleep if I touch up that spot right now. And, you’ll have awesome dreams too.
Do your kids have great excuses for not sleeping? Why can’t they go to sleep?