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| Heather and Noah Cellini |
I used to think of the list below as innocent little sundries we had around our house. Now, they are more akin to torture devices. Usually, my kids start crying at the mere sight of these items, so by the time I actually try to use them, everyone in our house is near hyperventilation.
1 – Nail clippers. Vegas odds of my toddler winning a lightweight boxing match: 1,000,000 to 1. Arm his opponent with nail clippers and the odds go to even.
2 – Comb and/ or brush. Maybe I should cut my boys some slack on this one. They do have curly hair, which I’d imagine is more difficult to comb than straight hair. Regardless, I’ve found a solution: comb their hair on picture day only, which thankfully, is no more than twice per year.
3 – Nose suction thingy. I have a friend who swears her one-year-old loves having his nose suctioned. I’m not saying he doesn’t love it, but I am saying I don’t trust that kid.
4 – Vegetables. Riddle me this: it took my toddler a year to figure out he shouldn’t eat dog food, 2 years to figure out books really aren’t that tasty , but 0.4 seconds to figure out he didn’t like any and all vegetables in the history of food.
5 – Eye drops. My son recently had pink eye, and the instructions on his prescription eye drops read: “Insert 2 drops in each eye twice per day.” They need to preface that with, “Swear to your child that you are not about to put eye drops in his eyes. Slip the eye drops into your pocket and trick him into lying on the floor. Stealthily straddle his chest and quickly pin his arms to the floor with your knees. Forcefully, yet gently, peel open his eyelids and hold the bottle in the general vicinity of the eye. Vigorously squirt the bottle until your child’s shrieks indicate that the drops have reached their intended destination.”
What things will send your little ones running for the hills? Please share!
A note from Katie:
**So, in all honesty, I laugh out loud after every post Heather writes. I can’t write humor like this, and don’t expect you too either… But… if you’d like to put together at Top Five list for Charlotte Mom Favorites (funny or not), we’d love to have you. We’ve even got prizes if you submit on by Friday the 25th (of May). Details are found here:
The bathtub – It looks so innocent. Pearly shining white porcelain filled with lukewarm bubbly water, rubber ducks, boats, barbie dolls, color on the wall crayons, squirt toys and cups. Sounds pretty enticing. However, my kid will come up with every excuse in the book NOT to get in there. You turn on the sprinkler in a muddy yard with snakes nearby and she will jump right in.
Give it time. My oldest kid hated the tub for awhile too. Until I found the right combo of toys. Also, it helped to play in the tub without water… Have you tried bath tub paint? Have your kid play in the tub with the paint and only turn on the water to make bubbles with the paint after he’s comfortable. Just an idea…
Too funny and so true about the bath tub!!
Oh my gosh!!! i laughed with tears in my eyes and my boss looked at me and asked my why i was crying. stephanie