How often do you look at your kids and think, “Darlin’ you’ve got it GOOD!” If you’re me, about 58 times a day. I mean come on, they have no responsibilities beyond making their bed and eating their meals. So much of the day is dedicated to their entertainment, amusement, and cravings. And then, then… people clean up after them, bathe them, do their hair, put on their shoes.
Really, these kids can work it. And, I’m jealous.
Sure there’s something to be said for the autonomy of being an adult, the “wisdom” that comes with it, and the ability to wipe your own bum, but there are just few things that really make me jealous, including:
1. My toddler can sure pull off a romper. Apparently, the romper has been somewhat stylish for a few years now for the adult-set. But I’ve got a few questions…. Do you have to completely undress to pee? Does it not bunch up funny at your waist and your crotch? I’m just not sure I can pull it off. But, Will? He can rock his romper.
2. There is absolutely NO GUILT when it comes to eating. My kids can tear into a cupcake, slice of pie… even a whole cake. Will admittedly put back an entire cake himself on his first birthday. Sure, it was messy. And yes, not all of it made it into his mouth. But did he feel guilty? Assuredly not.
3. Pudge looks great on a baby. When has anyone come up to you and said, “Oh! I could just squeeze those pudgy thighs?” If this has happened to you, please, PLEASE, keep it to yourself. I can assure you, no one has ever said that about my cellulite. But my babies’ pudge? Totally loved and totally squeezable. Apparently, the fatter the baby, the healthier people think they are. Must be nice.
4. Pure giddiness. When is the last time you laughed as hard as your kid? I swear, my children catch the giggles daily. The simplest delights cause belly laughter. It’s the sweetest sound in the whole wide world. Sadly, I can’t think of a single thing that would be funny enough to have me rolling on the floor with the giggles. If you know what that is, let me know. You could bottle it up and sell it. I’ll do you social media promotions for ya.
5. Bounce Houses. I soooo wanna go in a giant bounce house especially for adults. Come on!! How fun would that be? Booze and bouncing? There’s gotta be money in that! But, I gotta agree with my kid on this one: keep the costumed mascots outta there. They freak me out too.
Do you agree with me? What makes you jealous of your kids?
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