A post from Noelle O. of , our CMF Lifestyle Coach:
With only a few weeks left of summer vacation, I am bracing myself for the first day of school. My youngest is starting Kindergarten, and I’m beginning to feel the weight of this mommy milestone. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for the past nine years. My personal and professional time confined to just a few hours each morning while my children attended preschool. On August 27th, my days will be mine again and I am filled with excitement, anticipation and even a little fear about the big changes to come.
However, as I write these words, the overwhelming emotion I’m feeling is nostalgia. August 27th will also mark the end of a chapter of my life that I’ll someday look back on as “the Baby Years.” I’m going to miss sunny afternoons at the park, play dates with mom friends, and the sweetness of an occasional midday nap curled around my son’s small body. I’ll even miss running errands with a chatty toddler in tow.
As I cling to these memories of my past, a bittersweet form of grief threatens to consume me. We all go to this place sometimes; we linger on the ephemeral nature of life. The cruel march of time. We reminisce about our childhood or our college years, painting ourselves a rose-colored picture of how wonderful things used to be.
It is important to hold our past in gratitude – I’m deeply grateful that I had the opportunity to stay home with each of my children for the first five years of their lives. But we must be mindful that we don’t linger in the past too long or too often. Focusing on the past can cause unnecessary suffering – suffering that could lead to dissatisfaction with life and even depression. This goes for the pleasant memories too, not just the ugly ones. Life is happening NOW. It keeps moving forward and if you’re looking back, you’re likely to miss the wonderful things taking place right in front of you in this moment.
It’s okay to indulge in a few moments of nostalgia on occasion, but set a time limit. As you reflect and reminisce allow your emotions to move through you unabated. Have a good laugh or a gut-wrenching cry. It is important to let your feelings out. Stuffing feelings and emotions can cause harm psychologically and even physically. What you resist persists. Once the emotion has exhausted itself bring yourself to the present and let the memories fade back into the recesses of your mind.
I sat in the school parking lot and cried for at least ten minutes after dropping my daughter off on her first day of Kindergarten. I have no doubt that I’ll be boo-hooing again on August 27th. I will welcome my emotions and embrace the catharsis. Then I’ll dry my tears and drive off into the future, my eyes focused firmly on the road ahead.
Noelle Ostroff is mother to two spirited kids and the founder of the Mommy Coach ~ life coaching just for moms. Check out her website www.themommycoach.net or follow her on twitter @noelleostroff and facebook @ themommycoach.
Have a comment or question for Noelle? She’ll be checking our comments and will answer any questions you have!
Good post! Thanks for reminding me to feel my feelings – some of which are impatient for both to grow up and some of which are sad now that “the last one” is starting to leave babyhood.