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November 15, 2012 Parenting

Making Good Citizens: Reward or Discipline

Ask Katie, she’ll tell you.  I adore my daughters.  But as a young mom, I wasn’t a pushover.  I expected both of my girls to behave.  If either acted badly, I wasn’t above a quick swat to a bottom.  (I’ll hear about this from both of them, and maybe you!)  I felt that their self-esteem was derived from good behavior and deeds, and wasn’t a result of artificial praise or wishful thinking on my part.  I know my attitude probably makes me a dinosaur, but both girls turned out fine, maybe even swell.  They are free to argue this point, too.

Until the baby boomers, my generation, became parents, the prevailing attitude was that children should indeed be loved, but, just as importantly, needed to be molded into good citizens, a online pokies term rarely used today and vastly undervalued.  Back then children weren’t told that they were special; instead, they were expected to be responsible to, and for, others in their community.   Rules were clear and blackjack bad behavior was addressed quickly.  My generation, on the other hand, read baby books written by specialists.    The result is that many of us warned, Dagens spelautomater har en historia som tar sin borjan pa 1890-talet da Charles. rewarned, explained again and again, and excused.   We coddled, praised, and protected children from everything, including responsibility.

child labor

It’s not that yours truly, the “Modern Grandma,” believes that little ones should be doing hard labor or enduring abuse.  They should be well cared for and showered with love — at the same time that they are cleaning their rooms and mowing the lawn, enjoying the satisfaction of work well done, and learning to be contributors rather than takers.   I hope that the current generation of moms and dads will exercise the power of parenting and turn out a whole new generation of good citizens, bubbling with self-esteem that is well deserved.  One-upping my generation would be a terrific idea.

**********

Did we stir up the pot?  How do you discipline? Reward? Make Good Citizens? Let”s share and debate!

Categories: Parenting

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  1. Jeanine Swenson says

    November 20, 2012 at 1:22 pm

    I really enjoyed this wonderful article by the Modern Grandma, Cindy Barnes. It helps me put into context many of the rules and guidelines that my parents followed when I was growing up. Their philosophy and background was quite similar, even though my siblings and I were raised in small towns in New York, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin. It has taken over forty years and my own foray into parenthood to appreciate the sacrifices and dedication that my parents needed to thrive. But surprisingly, they did not seem to need alot of strokes along the way. They had the patience and internal sense that the train was mainly staying on the tracks, despite many ups and downs. I only hope that our children’s generation can do the same.

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Welcome to Forks and Folly! It's time to have some fun in the kitchen. Forks and Folly is about enjoying the process of cooking and entertaining. No complicated recipes. No stress. It's back to basics with easy, make ahead food, and fabulous hosting tips.

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