I was going to name this post “How I Potty Trained My Son in One Day,” and although kinda true, it would also be way to braggy and a wee bit misleading. Here’s the scoop:
My oldest child is compliant. He’s sweet. He’s adorable. He’s a rule-follower. It took time, but at 2 1/2 we had him more or less potty trained. He spent several days at home in a row in underwear with me hovering over him, dragging him to the potty at the first signs of #1 or #2. It wasn’t pleasant, but it worked. He wore pull-ups during naps and at bed time, and I called it a day.
I figured it would be similar with my second child. Except he’s stubborn. He’s defiant. He’s a rule-breaker. (Oh yeah, and also adorable if I do say so myself.) At 2 1/2 I didn’t even think about trying to potty train him, and then a few weeks before his 3rd birthday I decided it was “time.” I put him in underwear and hovered. He peed his pants when I wasn’t looking. I tried letting him run around in his birthday suit. He pooped in the corner when I turned my head.
When we went out he wore underwear under his pull-up so he could “feel” it. This strategy is not recommended and resulted in a very stinky pair of underwear being left in the women’s bathroom at a popular burger chain. Sorry ’bout that.
Needless to say, it was not going my way. I knew he knew what to do. I also knew he wasn’t going to cave easily. I tried positive reinforcement and rewards. We picked out toys he could have after potty success and treats he could eat for his potty-celebration. No go. I tried negative reinforcement. Pee your pants = time out. Fine, time out, he decided.
So, I did what no one had suggested, perhaps because it’s the biggest secret to potty training, perhaps because it may result in your friends calling protective services:
I locked him in the bathroom.
Go ahead, send me hate mail. But my kid is going on the potty. Sure he kicked and screamed. He cried and pouted. My husband looked at me and said, let me quote, “This is never going to work.”
After about two minutes of toddler melt-down…. silence. Which, generally, is not good when it comes to toddlers and being in a room alone. Moments later… “I did it! I put potty in the potty!!”
Jon and I looked at each other and laughed. Ain’t no chance in Hades that kid put potty in the potty. I was sure we were having a Clorox moment. Or Will was just being super spiteful. Jon and I peered around the corner and were both rendered speechless. There was potty in the potty.
We did a family high-five. Chocolate bunnies for everyone. Cupcakes – all you can eat! Toys, hugs, and smiles galore. About 45 minutes later, we asked Will if he needed to go potty. After a potty party like that, he was eager to please. No problem. The kid put potty in the potty. Again.
It’s been seven days since I locked my kid in the bathroom, and he hasn’t worn a diaper since. He’s had two accidents (hey, he’s new at this), but other than that, it’s been a easy-peasy. Yeah, I’m knocking on some wood right now in case you’re wondering.
Will locking your child in the bathroom work for you? Maybe. Probably not. If your child is as stubborn as mine is, though, it’s worth a try. When there are options (either good or bad), mine would pick the one that would make me “lose.” But when presented with no options? Mommy wins.
Regardless of whether you take my advice (and risk a call from DSS) or you go your own way, my biggest piece of advice is this: YOU know your kid best. Skip the manual. Skip the ebook. Skip the blog post from that mom that thinks she knows everything about potty training (although, she may have a point or two).
Just remember, it’s ok if you lose a few battles… you’re gonna win that war. I’ve yet to see a high-school kid in diapers.
I had that child. The only thing that worked for us was a stomach bug.
Oh no. That sounds worse!!!
I had a similar situation.
I’m so sorry! Hopefully it all worked itself out?
That sounds like my Oliver to a t, lol. At this point I’m willing to try anything, I get that you locked him in the bathroom but did you just ignore him or were you talking to him through the door?
Walk away, momma. Walk away. A calm “you are staying in there until you put potty in the potty” may have been uttered, but otherwise, we pretty much ignored his protests. I think that’s how he knew we were going to win. Good luck!!!!
Hi Katie!
I am not a mama yet, just a doggie mama and for some reason, my little toy poodle pup was very easy to train.
But I just wanted to say I love this post and think I’m going to enjoy your blog! I will keep this in mind for my future children, because if they’re anything like their dad, they will be stubborn kiddos. 🙂
Thanks for making me laugh on a lovely Friday afternoon!
xo! Laura
Sure thing! Thanks for dropping by. And for the record, I think dogs and toddlers have A LOT in common! 🙂
No judgement here. Do what works!
Hah! Thanks Joyce!
I have four boys and thankfully I am over that potty training stage. It was a tricky one for sure!
Two down, one to go here! Thanks for stopping by the blog!
Hi Katie! I think every child is different and I’m a firm believer that parents should do what they think is best for their child. I stopped worrying about how other people think I should raise my child or how they thought my child should be potty trained by a certain age. I think you know your child best and if the method you used worked for him.. that’s awesome! My little boy would have found a way to unlock the door ..lol!
I ‘m lucky my son is potty trained now I don’t miss those days.. now if I can just get him to wipe his butt without screaming for me !
Have a great week, Kim ~ This Ole Mom
Thanks for the pep talk! I’m just glad it worked! Good luck with the wiping. 😉
Sometimes you have to go to extremes. My 2nd son is like that and has always been like that! 🙂 He learns differently and needs to be taught differently.
Enjoyed reading this post! We have our first one on the way so I wonder about some things like this and how it will go. Like you said I think a lot of it has to do with the kiddos personality!
It sure does! Thanks for stopping by the blog!
Quick questions. Did you leave under wear on him? Or anything I’m trying to get my 2 1/2 year old boy to go potty he know just stubborn
Nope… no undies. Good luck!
after i saw the big bole letters saying “i locked him in the bathroom” i never laughed so hard ???
Hey… if it works! 🙂
I totally see how you get there. I have a three year old who is driving me crazy with this potty training business. I just quit for the umpteenth time because she just refuses to get it and my patience is worn out. I swear my child will be the first to graduate in diapers.