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April 10, 2014 Folly

The Secret to Potty Training that No One Is Sharing

secret to potty training

I was going to name this post “How I Potty Trained My Son in One Day,” and although kinda true, it would also be way to braggy and a wee bit misleading.  Here’s the scoop:

graham watermarked sq

My oldest child is compliant.  He’s sweet.  He’s adorable.  He’s a rule-follower.  It took time, but at 2 1/2 we had him more or less potty trained.  He spent several days at home in a row in underwear with me hovering over him, dragging him to the potty at the first signs of #1 or #2.  It wasn’t pleasant, but it worked.  He wore pull-ups during naps and at bed time, and I called it a day.

will library sm

I figured it would be similar with my second child.  Except he’s stubborn.  He’s defiant.  He’s a rule-breaker.  (Oh yeah, and also adorable if I do say so myself.)  At 2 1/2 I didn’t even think about trying to potty train him, and then a few weeks before his 3rd birthday I decided it was “time.”  I put him in underwear and hovered.  He peed his pants when I wasn’t looking.  I tried letting him run around in his birthday suit.  He pooped in the corner when I turned my head.

When we went out he wore underwear under his pull-up so he could “feel” it.  This strategy is not recommended and resulted in a very stinky pair of underwear being left in the women’s bathroom at a popular burger chain.  Sorry ’bout that.

secret to potty training 2

Needless to say, it was not going my way.  I knew he knew what to do.  I also knew he wasn’t going to cave easily.  I tried positive reinforcement and rewards. We picked out toys he could have after potty success and treats he could eat for his potty-celebration.  No go.  I tried negative reinforcement.  Pee your pants = time out.  Fine, time out, he decided.

So, I did what no one had suggested, perhaps because it’s the biggest secret to potty training, perhaps because it may result in your friends calling protective services:

I locked him in the bathroom.

Go ahead, send me hate mail.  But my kid is going on the potty.  Sure he kicked and screamed.  He cried and pouted.  My husband looked at me and said, let me quote, “This is never going to work.”

After about two minutes of toddler melt-down…. silence.  Which, generally, is not good when it comes to toddlers and being in a room alone.  Moments later… “I did it!  I put potty in the potty!!”

Jon and I looked at each other and laughed.  Ain’t no chance in Hades that kid put potty in the potty.  I was sure we were having a Clorox moment.  Or Will was just being super spiteful.  Jon and I peered around the corner and were both rendered speechless.  There was  potty in the potty.

We did a family high-five.  Chocolate bunnies for everyone.  Cupcakes – all you can eat!  Toys, hugs, and smiles galore.  About 45 minutes later, we asked Will if he needed to go potty.  After a potty party like that, he was eager to please.   No problem.  The kid put potty in the potty.  Again.

It’s been seven days since I locked my kid in the bathroom, and he hasn’t worn a diaper since.  He’s had two accidents (hey, he’s new at this), but other than that, it’s been a easy-peasy.   Yeah, I’m knocking on some wood right now in case you’re wondering.

Will locking your child in the bathroom work for you?  Maybe.  Probably not.  If your child is as stubborn as mine is, though, it’s worth a try.  When there are options (either good or bad), mine would pick the one that would make me “lose.”  But when presented with no options?  Mommy wins.

Regardless of whether you take my advice (and risk a call from DSS) or you go your own way, my biggest piece of advice is this: YOU know your kid best.  Skip the manual.  Skip the ebook.  Skip the blog post from that mom that thinks she knows everything about potty training (although, she may have a point or two).

Just remember, it’s ok if you lose a few battles… you’re gonna win that war.  I’ve yet to see a high-school kid in diapers.

Categories: Folly

About Katie

Katie Harding has been blogging since 2010. What originally started out as a platform to discuss new parenthood, her blogging now focuses on her passion for cooking: creating recipes and sharing tips for entertaining friends and family of all ages. Outside of the kitchen you’ll find her with her family (three boys, one husband, multiple exchange student daughters, and Hank the pup), or gallivanting around the world with her fork in tow.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Dawn says

    April 10, 2014 at 5:47 pm

    I had that child. The only thing that worked for us was a stomach bug.

    Reply
    • Katie says

      April 11, 2014 at 9:27 am

      Oh no. That sounds worse!!!

      Reply
  2. shayna mciver says

    April 10, 2014 at 5:53 pm

    I had a similar situation.

    Reply
    • Katie says

      April 11, 2014 at 4:41 pm

      I’m so sorry! Hopefully it all worked itself out?

      Reply
  3. lauren says

    April 11, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    That sounds like my Oliver to a t, lol. At this point I’m willing to try anything, I get that you locked him in the bathroom but did you just ignore him or were you talking to him through the door?

    Reply
    • Katie says

      April 11, 2014 at 4:41 pm

      Walk away, momma. Walk away. A calm “you are staying in there until you put potty in the potty” may have been uttered, but otherwise, we pretty much ignored his protests. I think that’s how he knew we were going to win. Good luck!!!!

      Reply
  4. Laura Radniecki says

    April 11, 2014 at 3:22 pm

    Hi Katie!

    I am not a mama yet, just a doggie mama and for some reason, my little toy poodle pup was very easy to train.

    But I just wanted to say I love this post and think I’m going to enjoy your blog! I will keep this in mind for my future children, because if they’re anything like their dad, they will be stubborn kiddos. 🙂

    Thanks for making me laugh on a lovely Friday afternoon!

    xo! Laura

    Reply
    • Katie says

      April 11, 2014 at 4:40 pm

      Sure thing! Thanks for dropping by. And for the record, I think dogs and toddlers have A LOT in common! 🙂

      Reply
  5. joyceb says

    April 12, 2014 at 2:09 pm

    No judgement here. Do what works!

    Reply
    • Katie says

      April 14, 2014 at 8:39 pm

      Hah! Thanks Joyce!

      Reply
  6. Mary Ann says

    April 14, 2014 at 10:22 am

    I have four boys and thankfully I am over that potty training stage. It was a tricky one for sure!

    Reply
    • Katie says

      April 14, 2014 at 8:39 pm

      Two down, one to go here! Thanks for stopping by the blog!

      Reply
  7. Kim ~ This Ole Mom says

    April 14, 2014 at 11:22 am

    Hi Katie! I think every child is different and I’m a firm believer that parents should do what they think is best for their child. I stopped worrying about how other people think I should raise my child or how they thought my child should be potty trained by a certain age. I think you know your child best and if the method you used worked for him.. that’s awesome! My little boy would have found a way to unlock the door ..lol!
    I ‘m lucky my son is potty trained now I don’t miss those days.. now if I can just get him to wipe his butt without screaming for me !
    Have a great week, Kim ~ This Ole Mom

    Reply
    • Katie says

      April 14, 2014 at 8:38 pm

      Thanks for the pep talk! I’m just glad it worked! Good luck with the wiping. 😉

      Reply
  8. Bernadette C @Aimless Moments says

    April 14, 2014 at 10:54 pm

    Sometimes you have to go to extremes. My 2nd son is like that and has always been like that! 🙂 He learns differently and needs to be taught differently.

    Reply
  9. Cassie says

    April 18, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    Enjoyed reading this post! We have our first one on the way so I wonder about some things like this and how it will go. Like you said I think a lot of it has to do with the kiddos personality!

    Reply
    • Katie says

      April 21, 2014 at 11:09 am

      It sure does! Thanks for stopping by the blog!

      Reply
      • Amy says

        February 17, 2016 at 6:58 pm

        Quick questions. Did you leave under wear on him? Or anything I’m trying to get my 2 1/2 year old boy to go potty he know just stubborn

        Reply
        • Katie says

          March 10, 2016 at 3:38 pm

          Nope… no undies. Good luck!

          Reply
  10. Shayrelick says

    March 7, 2016 at 12:48 am

    after i saw the big bole letters saying “i locked him in the bathroom” i never laughed so hard ???

    Reply
    • Katie says

      March 10, 2016 at 3:34 pm

      Hey… if it works! 🙂

      Reply
  11. Nina Rose says

    November 1, 2017 at 8:46 pm

    I totally see how you get there. I have a three year old who is driving me crazy with this potty training business. I just quit for the umpteenth time because she just refuses to get it and my patience is worn out. I swear my child will be the first to graduate in diapers.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Bye Bye Bed-Wetting with these 4 Tips - Mom Favorites says:
    July 20, 2015 at 4:02 pm

    […] did it when I discovered the Secret to Potty Training.  If you missed it, hop on over for a quick little read.  Totally worth it.  And I’m doing […]

    Reply

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Welcome to Forks and Folly! It's time to have some fun in the kitchen. Forks and Folly is about enjoying the process of cooking and entertaining. No complicated recipes. No stress. It's back to basics with easy, make ahead food, and fabulous hosting tips.

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