Hi, I’m Candace from His Mercy is New! I’m honored to be sharing with Mom Favorites today some practical ideas that have helped me on my journey through motherhood with depression. These tips can be for the mom that is struggling OR for for those of you that have a friend that might be struggling.  If you’re struggling with anxiety or if you’re grieving, these tips can help too!

10 Tips for Managing Depression for Parents

1. Accept help. Just get over your pride and let a friend bring you dinner. One of my best memories of a dark time ~ and a friend I will always cherish greatly ~ is when a pizza, 2-liter and dessert showed up at my front door unexpectedly when I was having a very rough time. Now, had she called and asked earlier in the week if I wanted a meal brought to me, quite honestly, I probably would have said NO. I feel bad accepting help. But, when that meal was delivered it was SUCH a relief.

If you’ve never struggled with depression you may not understand how a simple dinner can help that much. But, LITTLE THINGS like fixing dinner for your family become HUGE when you are struggling. {If you have a friend that you know is struggling, here are some ideas that are always welcome: take a meal, offer to come clean one afternoon, take the kids for the afternoon, drive kids to and from places, call and ask how they are doing, send a quick text to say you care.}

2. Take care of your health. Find small things you can do that will make a big difference. I mean things like getting outside daily, even for 10 minutes. Going on short walks with or without your kids, even for 10 minutes. Drink lots of water. Eliminate as much junk food as possible from your diet. Food does affect my moods! {If you would like to know where to start, my first suggestion would be to eat as few carbs/grains as possible for a month or so and see if it makes any difference.}

3. Do not be afraid of medication. This is such a battle. I don’t like having to be on meds either. But for me, it was a humbling of my pride AND putting my family’s needs BEFORE my own to stay on medication. They need a mommy that is sane. For me, medication has been a lifesaver. I would encourage you to speak with your doctor or a trusted counselor to find out if this is an option that might be helpful or you.

4. Please find someone you can talk to and that you enjoy being around. You are not alone even though we tend to feel alone! You need someone you can talk to regularly – if you don’t have a friend like that (or spouse) please find a good counselor! It really can make a huge difference!! {Finding a counselor can be trial and error and a bit like dating. Give it time ’til you find one that can really help you!}

5. Stay in church or groups you are already a part of. Continue meeting with some group sometime. Be as open as you can about your struggles so that you have supporting you. I know when you are down, you just want to stay home and not be around people. I know, I’ve been there. But, when I make the effort (HUGE effort at times) to get out, I am ALWAYS glad that I did!

6. If you have a supportive spouse, allow him to help. You do not have to be superwoman! Do all you can to SURVIVE the days while he is at work, then leave some (or as much as he will do) for him to do in evenings. Or weekends. Or whatever it takes. There have been times I could hardly get out of bed much less do fun things with my kids. My husband has been so good to do things in the evenings with my kids. It’s not a long term solution for our family, but it works on the worst days. Will he fold laundry? Will he pick up dinner on the way home? Ask your husband what he is willing to help do around the house to chip in.

7. Find educational television programs/movies and let your kids watch them WITHOUT feeling guilty. Independent learning is not a bad thing, there are ways that take minimal effort on your part. I’m not trying to say “just do nothing, and they will be fine.” But, there are days that are more desperate than others and sometimes we just need permission to not be “on.” There are SO many great resources these days that you really can let your kids do some learning independently and still feel really great about it!

8. On the days you DO feel good, do something fun/special with your kids. This was one of my biggest worries as I struggled with depression…that my kids weren’t getting anything “fun.” So, on the days you are up to it, shower your kids with affection and encouragement. Take them to get ice cream. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, but make time for special moments together on the days where you are able.

9. If you’re a reader, like me, find a book that will help explain, encourage and help you not to feel alone. There are a few I recommend for moms struggling specifically with anxiety and depression: The Even Tempered Mother by Tabitha Philen, The Depression Cure by Stephen Ilardi, Depression: Looking Up From the Stubborn Darkness by Edward Welch, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, Desperate: Hope For the Mom Who Needs to Breathe by Sally Clarkson and Sarah Mae, Potatoes Not Prozac by Kathleen DesMaisons.

10. Let go of unrealistic expectations. I saved the hardest one for last. This is so hard for me. But, when you are having a rough time, let go of the need to have a perfectly pristine home, don’t worry about the fact that your kids had chicken nuggets instead of a home cooked meal for dinner, if you’re kids watch a few more hours of tv today than you usually allow — it’s ok. Letting go of the idea of perfection – especially my idea of what a good mom *should* and *shouldn’t* do was so hard but so freeing!

I hope these ideas will truly be a help and blessing to you!

Candace blogs at His Mercy is New about her struggle and journey through motherhood with depression. She also shares about her faith, good books, and her family living in East Tennessee. She would love for you to join her on Pinterest and Instagram.