The Gift of Schadenfreude

What’s the biggest difference in having a one year old and a two year old? Memory retention and communication. Yep, all those things you wish you had with a baby, come barreling at you when they turn two. Communicating with a toddler can sometimes be both delightful and productive. Example: I ask, “What hurts?”, and I get a response, “my leg.” Helpful. And when I walk into a room and my kid remembers the names of his friends that I have long forgotten, it saves me from having to ask the mom that I’ve met 15 times what her daughter’s name is. Also helpful.

When does this become a problem? When I do stupid stuff. Yep, once they become two, if you do something stupid once, you hear about it again and again. Feel free to learn (or laugh) from my mistakes.

Here’s a brief list:

1. NEVER get into your kid’s crib. I know this may sound ridiculous to you. Why would a grown up woman climb into her baby’s crib? Well, at bedtime when they get fussy you sometimes do stupid things. Like get in their bed. Don’t do it. It took a week of “Momma in bed!” temper tantrums to get over that one.

2. I used to be able to listen to my iPod in the kitchen. Graham would eat his meal in his high chair, and I got to unload the dishwasher, prep dinner, and groove to my favorite songs. Everyone was happy. Until I decided it would be fun to put in a “kids” CD in the stereo we have in the kitchen. I only did it once, and now every time he gets in his chair, he asks for “my music”. Now I get to work in the kitchen to the tune of Do You Know the Muffin Man. Can’t wait to hear Katy Perry’s version of that.

3. They are doing construction on our street. Which means cool, big, yellow, construction trucks. What’s the first thing I did when I saw them? Grab my toddler and run out to show him the excitement that is now our cul-de-sac. Not surprisingly, he loved it. Now, every waking moment that we are home, he’s hanging off our front door knob and whining, “outside, big trucks!” Lucky me.

Graham’s been two for two whole weeks. I’m sure I’ll have more to add to this list by the end of July. Feel free to add your stupid mom-moments, so I can feel less bad, and those that don’t have children can delight in a little schadenfreude.

Happy weekend,