How to be a Mom-Friend

I started a playgroup when my son was three months old because I had no mom friends. None. I stalked new moms at Babies ‘R Us and tried to “pick them up.” OK, this may be a bit of an exaggeration. Seriously, I only did that once. I realized quickly, however, that I couldn’t survive mom-hood without some baby-toting gal pals. Hence, the creation of the South Charlotte Playgroup, now home to nearly 700 mommas and many of my dear friends. We’ve managed babyhood and toddler-hood together, and now many of us are going through pregnancies together. It’s been great. Mostly.

Let’s just say, when you throw 700 women together, there is always an interesting dynamic. We have different backgrounds, cultures, and educations. We are all different ages. What we have in common is kids. And when you get a bunch of women together, and we talk about our kids, well, you find out quickly who your friends will be.

One of my mom-friends turned me on to this video. I’ve met all of the mom-personalities portrayed. And, if you’ve tried to make mom friends, you’ve met them too. Oh, and if you can’t figure out which mom I would like to think I am in this scenario, we can’t be friends. 🙂

So, I realize, that there are happy mediums for everything. That there are two sides to every story. I have friends that breastfeed their toddlers and friends that don’t let their kids watch TV. I have friends that partake in the moms-up-manship of “my kid is smarter than yours”, and I have friends that don’t believe in giving their children all of the recommended vaccinations. I have never said, “Holy shit! Do you understand how disease works?” I may have wanted to.

But if you want mom friends, you learn to bite your tongue, and you learn what you can tolerate in a mom-friend and what you can’t. You learn that good mom friends will give you pointers when you need a tip or two and laugh with you when you screw up. So, here’s to being a good mom-friend. We acknowledge that there are different strokes for different folks. That we all have come to our own conclusions from our different life experiences. And, if we aren’t going to be best pals, that’s OK. There are plenty of other moms in the proverbial suburban sea. Whether it’s the 699 other ladies in the South Charlotte Playgroup or a new momma at your local Babies ‘R Us – it’s up to you!