Remember the saying “sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me”? As I child, I would try to choke out that phrase after being insulted by a classmate or put down by a sibling. But, deep down the words DID hurt, and some things that were uttered stuck with me a long time.
Do you know what I was disciplined for most as a child? My words! I was rude, I talked back and argued, and my tone of voice left much to be desired. I remember the taste of ivory soap in my mouth being the “flavor du jour” on many occasions. You would think I’d have learned my lesson after the first soap rinse out! The power of the spoken and written word is infinite, and I am learning that speaking is an art and a beautiful tool that can be used to encourage, show love, and build people up.
Growing up, I loved the story of Cyrano de Bergerac. It was a love story of how a beautiful young maiden fell in love with a handsome young man through the love letters he would write her. She would sit and read his letters, and his poetic words would pierce her heart. She fell fast and furiously in love. Little did she know, the handsome young man was not the author of these letters. But the large-nosed Cyrano who considered himself too ugly for the beautiful Roxane. It always amazed me that it was his written words that won her heart.
Which brings me to the style of our words. How do our words affect our personal style? If someone looks at me and thinks I have great style, does that all change when I open my mouth? I am reminded of a top super model whom I always thought was elegant, stylish and beautiful until I saw her in an interview. She was rude, condescending, and cursed like a sailor. That vision of the classy woman with great style was shattered when she opened her mouth.
As a mother of three, I want to leave a legacy of compassion, love, patience, and hope for my children. This legacy can be accomplished through my words. I can use my words to build up or tear down; To divide or connect; To stir up or calm; To be a rebel rouser or peace promoter. The same goes with my friends, acquaintances, and especially my husband. My words and my tone can be a soft place to land, or a place people want to avoid.
I once read that our words are actually alive, capable of growing, spreading, and influencing the world, directly and indirectly (through others). The idea of a word being ‘alive’ is so powerful. I think of words spoken 3,000 years ago, written and passed down through the generations, and they seem quite alive when read or spoken today. As I ponder the power of the word to provoke and inspire, to calm and connect, or to make and effect change, I am ever more cautious about what comes out of my mouth and how I listen to the words around me.
At the end of the day, whatever your personal outward style might be, it’s what comes out the heart that makes you who you are. The power to build up and encourage one another far outweighs any new pair of shoes or chevron striped throw pillow. That’s the kind of style I am striving for.
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