I recently suffered two miscarriages. The first was tough; I was twelve weeks along, had been wearing maternity clothes, and already told my friends about the upcoming arrival of baby. A long recovery from the D & C and $4,000 in medical bills did not help matters. The second was easier; I didn’t plan the pregnancy, was only six weeks along and had many signs ahead of time. In either case a miscarriage is a sad thing, but to help me get back into my normal, upbeat groove, I have decided to celebrate some of the wonderful things that come with NOT being pregnant.
Retail Therapy—I spent a lot of time shopping after the first miscarriage. Fall was just beginning and there were gorgeous, bulky sweaters in every window that were suddenly available to me. I hit up the usual suspects—Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, and a handful of department stores. But since my favorite place to shop is Marshalls, I was even more delighted to snag this dress. With an original price of $178, I picked up this French Connection dress for a mere $20! Though I knew there was a chance I might be pregnant come summer, I bought it anyway. Once I found out I was pregnant again, I thought about shipping the dress off to my sister to enjoy. Now I don’t have to do that….I plan to wear this dress at least once a week come summer. And since I’ll be spending the summer in Florida, this is a small reason to enjoy the lack of a baby bump.
Wine and TV on Thursday nights—I should have been concerned when, during my last pregnancy, I was craving red wine. I did not crave any alcohol when I was pregnant with my daughter (now 2), so this was new to me. Though I don’t drink a whole lot, I’ve always loved a glass of warm, red wine on Thursday nights. Because my husband travels a great deal for work, I am exhausted come Thursday. A week as the solo caretaker for a toddler wears on me quickly, and by Thursday night I am ready to veg out. And now that Grey’s Anatomy is a good show again, I look forward to uncorking a bottle of Cabernet or Pinot Noir, drinking a hefty glass, and relaxing on the couch. (My other Thursday evening guilty pleasure is HGTV’s Selling New York. It makes me grateful to live in a small city—I have 2800 square feet that didn’t cost $10m.)
Uninterrupted Sleep—Never one to get out of bed in the middle of the night, I despise the middle of the night trips to the restroom that come with pregnancy. Combined with the constant thirst of being pregnant, this is a symptom nearly as bad as nausea. Since the miscarriages, I’ve slept blissfully through the night. Even better is knowing that I won’t have to wake up three and four times a night to struggle with a feeding a newborn and getting her back to sleep. I hope to have these “issues” again at some point in the future, but for now I will take comfort in the fact that I can sleep peacefully.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, raise a glass and take comfort in the little things. Getting over a miscarriage (or two) is hard, but there are small pleasures along the way to recovery.
**A HUGE thanks to my friend and writer of this blog. I know you speak to many women out there that have been through this process, and we all thank you for sharing your story.
I’ve never had a miscarriage but I am certainly appreciating not being pregnant anymore. Still waiting for the uninterrupted sleep to come back because JJ is not sleeping thru the night yet, but the fact that I can have a glass of wine is wonderful!!
Thank you for posting this, it was helpful to read as I recently suffered the same thing (I wrote about it here: http://www.witchy-kitchen.com/2011/05/red-raspberry-leaf-lemonade/). It’s nice to hear I’m not alone! I’m very sorry for your losses, but I’m happy you managed to find the rainbow at the end of the storm.