Every now and then, brilliant utterances can be heard around our home. The problem is, I can’t remember any of them. But I can assure you that what was said was exceptionally insightful, extraordinary and inspirational.
However, most things we say fall more along the lines of slightly amusing and hardly worth repeating. So, naturally, I thought it would be a good idea to share them.
1. Shortly after having our first baby, I overheard my husband in our bedroom singing a lovely-sounding song to our little bundle of joy. I was overwhelmed with warm fuzzies, and I just had to sneak a peek. I didn’t recognize the tune, and I realized he was making up his own song for our baby. How sweet – those standard lullabies just weren’t good enough for our perfect newborn. I couldn’t wait to hear the words of wisdom and encouragement my baby daddy was imparting upon our son. As I got closer, I could hear a melodious, “Holy crap, I’m your dad!” over and over again. I must admit, the tune was quite catchy. The baby was loving it, and even my husband was rocking to it. Although, come to think of it, he could have been in some kind of sleep-deprived catatonic state and perhaps the rocking was involuntary.
2. “Just let ‘em fight it out. Til the death!” This was another awesome declaration by my husband. If it had come from me, it could be expected. I’ve been known to lose my cool with my kids every…shall we say…day? But my husband is the most patient and kind person I’ve ever met and he rarely, if ever, loses his cool. The hubs has even taught anger management classes and my admiration for his level-headedness is beyond words. So on this particularly trying morning, when he literally stormed out of the house after our sons’ non-stop fighting, I became so tickled that I collapsed onto the floor laughing, pausing momentarily to ponder whether he’d come back.
3. My two-year-old son was complimenting himself by saying something along the lines of “Poco [our crazy dog] yikes me. Me nice.” I replied, “Yes, Aiden, you are very nice.” Then I looked at my three-year-old son and said, “Noah is very nice too.” Noah looked at me and deadpanned, “Mommy, I’m not nice. I’m dangerous.”
4. “If you don’t stop whining, I’ll give you exactly what you want.” Just kidding. Not really.
5. “Honey badger don’t care.” This one is great for its versatility and universal appeal. It can apply to just about anything when you’ve almost reached your breaking point. “Um, Noah is rubbing ice cream on the baby’s head.” “Honey badger don’t care.” By the way – if you’re one of the six people who hasn’t seen the honey badger video, first, congratulations on having a life, and second, here ya go. Your life will be forever changed. For the better? I can’t say.
(Obviously, based on the title, profanity is included.)
Do you have a Top Five List that you’d like to share? We love all of the Top Five Lists that y’all share with us. What are your favorite mom-tips? Funny moments? Favorite products? We can’t wait to read what you come up with! Send entries to: katie (dot) harding (at) gmail (dot) com.