This winter, my daughter was selected for her elementary school’s Odyssey of the Mind team. The kids were tasked with creating an original, humorous skit that adhered to the strict guidelines of the competition. online cialis I agreed to make myself available several afternoons a week to help supervise the kids but when the team’s teacher went into labor early, I was asked to take over as coach. With only weeks until the deadline, the kids and I spent every evening at the school working on the play and I spent a good portion of my day gathering last-minute supplies for sets and costumes. At work, I rescheduled meetings and asked for deadline extensions.
Despite the added stress, it ended up being an amazing experience that my daughter nor I will forget.
Everything Is A Choice
It could be said that I was forced into the role of coach because there was no alternative. But the truth is, there are always alternatives. Perhaps another parent would have stepped up or the kids could have carried on without a coach. Instead, I made the decision to accept the job. Not because I’m a super mom who always puts her children’s needs first. I did it because I genuinely enjoy being involved in my children’s activities. I”ve made it a priority and I”ve purposefully designed my work-life so that I have the necessary flexibility.
Everything in our lives is the result of choices we’ve made, rather consciously or unconsciously. Given, we often have to select the lesser of two evils, but the decision is still ours to make. Deciding how involved we will be in our children’s activities is a choice. Deciding where and what hours we will work is a choice. Before you disagree and say that you have to work full-time or stay home full-time for financial reasons, realize that you have made a choice to live at your current economic level and that the alternative doesn’t appeal to you. And that’s okay! Or perhaps you work full-time because you need the intellectual challenge or because you derive a sense gamepreser.com of purpose from your work that you just don’t get being home with the kids. That’s okay too! Perhaps the very idea of coaching a team of 4th grade drama queens makes you break out in hives. Or maybe you live for such Some health insurance companies companies were canceling plans or raising prices due to the changes in the Affordable Care Act. experiences. There are no rights or wrongs – only what works for you.
So, the question is: Is your current situation working?
If you’re constantly hemming and hawing, complaining or feeling guilty about how you divide your work and family time, then it clearly isn’t. I – Entgiften, Entschlacken, Entsauern als Grundlage jeder Therapie ist eine von tausenden Fachgruppen und Gemeinschaften auf XING, die Fachwissen und Know-how von Millionen Mitgliedern aus uber 200 Landern weltweit verbinden. know plenty of women who’ve chosen to stay home with their children and Cancer needs certainty in love that horoscope sagittarius can?t provide. then complain about how they have no time for themselves and how lucky their husband is to get to go off to work everyday. Some moms rearrange their work schedule so they can volunteer at their child’s school and then feel completely overwhelmed and resentful. Too many moms work long hours and then have immense grief or guilt because they feel they are missing their children’s lives.
This is called cognitive dissonance – saying or doing one thing but deep down wanting to do another. This internal conflict causes a great deal of psychological pain. And if you are suffering, be assured that your family knows it on some level and is suffering too.
Get Clear On Your Choice
First, it’s important to figure out why we make the choices we do. We all are driven by unconscious “shoulds.” I should spend more time with my kids. I should volunteer to help. I should contribute more financially. I should always be available if my children need me. If we often make choices from a place of obligation, then we are more likely to feel the pain of dissonance. Start by asking yourself what you want to do – all shoulds aside. Be totally honest and don’t judge yourself no matter what the answer. This is just an exercise. You might find renewed confidence in your current decision. You just need to stop doubting yourself and comparing yourself to others. If not, write down all the reasons why you shouldn’t do the level of work you want. Now you have a list of the rules and boundaries you’ve created for yourself. Go through each item on the list and ask yourself, “Says who?”
Make Necessary Changes
Many people say they feel powerless to change their work-life situation. The truth is, change is always possible, it just takes time, planning and usually sacrifice. As a family, we’ve chosen to have a less expensive home, to share a car and to put off the travel we’d like to do so that I can work part-time.
What are the pros and cons of your desired work situation? What would you have to give up? What would you gain? If you’re truly ready make some changes than stop complaining and get pro-active. Start actually making a plan to get your work-life ratio more in line with your values. Just setting the intention to change can bring relief from the pain of dissonance.
Awesome advice, too often we will pigeon-hole our options by what we have already known, or what people tell us we have to do….expand your options!
You have just described the moment I`ve been living lately. I gave up my 10 hours a day job to spend more time with my 4 year old boy. This year is an important year for him and I want to be close. But I`m already planning and preparing myself for a new part time job, so I can reach this balance your talking about. I loved your post! Congratulations!
It seems that you read my mind! It’s exactly what I’m thinking now. Actually I think about it for a long time, but now I can see some alternatives. I hope that soon I can put some things into practice and end the pain of dissonance.